I Left Facebook A Month Ago… Here’s What I’ve Learned So Far

About a month ago I shared a story about why I was ditching Facebook.

I’m certainly not the first person to write such a story. While the reasons are different for each us, there are plenty of folks cutting the Facebook strings or at least intentionally reducing their time on the platform.

What I don’t read a lot of is the after story. (I’m sure they are out there but there are not as many.)

And I want to know the after story. I have questions.

What happened? Was life better? Worse? What did they look at on their phone in the bathroom without Facebook? Y

Important questions like that.

I think there are two reasons we don’t see more of the “after I quit” Facebook posts.

First, a lot of people say they are walking away then go back to it. Admitting that isn’t something they’re excited about.

For those folks… three words. I get it. Facebook has a VERY powerful pull and no one likes to admit they’re back on the thing they said was a problem for them. Zero judgment here.

The second group get off of Facebook or whatever platform that had them roped in and they continue to disconnect more and more from screens and are busy living their lives. I like this option. I hope to get there someday.

Disclosure ahead…

For me, the last month has been about a 90–95% Facebook free zone. I didn’t have my personal account for any of it. My wife’s Facebook has been on our computers and she now manages a Facebook community I started two years ago. I’ve had to go in an answer a few questions from students but that’s about it. No app, no personal account, essentially Facebook free.

That being said here’s what I’ve learned.

I really don’t miss it.

Your Facebook feed may be different but in the industries I roll in, mine was dominated by promotions, pitches, and business noise. It was a feed full of carnival barkers all trying to get me to try their rides. I don’t miss any of that.

I also don’t miss the incessant messages I received from people with questions, comments, etc… about our business, products, etc… There are regular channels for questions and support, but since people found me on Facebook, they figured, I’ll just message him. I don’t miss that at 24/7 invasion at all.

I have a LOT more free time.

I still can’t get over how much more free time I have now that I’m off Facebook. Translation… I use to be on it all the time and wasted untold amounts of hours mindlessly scrolling. Oh if I get could those hours back!

Now the key here is filling the voided time with good stuff. It’s allowed me to focus a lot more on the projects and work that actually matter which is very good.

But…

I can’t escape like I use to.

I use to bail out to Facebook to scroll and check things when things were getting tough. A way to escape, bail out, (insert avoid) the hard work that I was facing. Not so much now. Oh sure, online, you can come up with new things to check constantly but I’ve had to deal with the tough work in my life differently now. I’ve had to sit with it, work on it, deal it with it.

I don’t have a lot of real-life friends.

Now that sounds a lot more sappy than I mean it to. I’m a 42 year old, married man, with three kids, and a business. I don’t have time for or need 100 personal friends I hang out with all the time. But what struck me was how few people from Facebook crossed over to regular interaction with me via phone, text, email, in person, or even at a distance on YouTube or Medium. Further evidence that most of what we think are friends of social media are superficial at best and a complete illusion at worst.

I was more tied to Facebook than I assumed.

I’m not talking about just addiction driven scanning and scrolling. I have tons of chats, phone numbers, contacts, groups, etc… that I was tied into. Untangling that and or working around it was a bit of a challenge. More than once I found myself saying, “Oh yeah they sent me that in chat” only to realize I had no chat because I deleted my account. Oops, better find a workaround.

I learned Facebook is more important to my life than I probably understood but not enough to go back just yet.

When I say Facebook is more important than I thought, it’s actually not the platform per se but the connection with other people from all over the world.

I miss sharing snarky chats with my buddy who’s hopping around the far east right now.

I miss sending my wife goofy videos to make her laugh while she’s suffering in a PTA meeting.

I miss quick chats with old friends I met at events or celebrating a win someone had that went through one of our courses.

And I do miss the outlet. I miss being able to fire off my thoughts about something in our industry or brag about a great restaurant.

I have no doubt at some point I will return. But I’m still just learning to sit with the gaps in my life. The moments when I would normally grab for the phone and scroll. I’m sitting with those more now. Paying attention. I’m still trying to figure it out and that’s interesting enough for me to stay off Facebook for a little while longer.

The BONUS good news for me… I’ve gotten to spend time working on something that really matters to me. This.